In a recent interview, Daenerys Targaryen, Mother of Dragons and Breaker of Chains, has publicly announced that she is “sick and tired” of dating unemployed slobs.
Sources close to the Dragon Queen report that she has grown weary of her romantic prospects, citing a lack of ambition and financial stability among her suitors. “It’s always the same story,” one insider revealed. “They talk a big game about conquering kingdoms and ruling with an iron fist, but when it comes down to it, they can’t even hold down a job at the local tavern.”
“I am Daenerys Targaryen, First of Her Name, Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Protector of the Seven Kingdoms, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Breaker of Chains, and Mother of Dragons,” she proclaimed with annoyance. “Not the Dater of Fat Slobs and Caretaker of Idiots.”
Targaryen also noted that many of the men she’d dated seemed to be more interested in her dragons than in her as a person. “It’s like they only want to date me so they can ride my dragons,” she said. “I’m not a dragon taxi service, you know.”
One of Daenerys Targaryen’s most recent dates involved a young lord from the Reach, who arrived at Targaryen’s castle in Dragonstone dressed in a moth-eaten tunic and smelling of ale.
Things quickly went downhill from there. During dinner, the lord spent the entire time talking about his prized pig breeding business and how he was hoping to expand it across the Seven Kingdoms. When Targaryen attempted to steer the conversation towards more intellectual topics, the lord scoffed and said that women like her had no business discussing such matters.
After dinner, the lord suggested that they take a romantic stroll around the castle grounds. But as they walked, he proceeded to belch loudly and relieve himself in the castle’s moat. Targaryen was mortified and quickly cut the date short, telling the lord that she had an early morning meeting with her council.
Regardless of the public reaction, one thing is clear: Daenerys Targaryen is not settling for less than she deserves. And with her dragons by her side, she’s sure to find the right partner who can handle her fiery spirit and thirst for adventure.
