by Kim Jung Un
As the Supreme Leader of North Korea, I have always had a vision for my country’s future. And that vision is, quite simply, to turn North Korea into a weed-topia.
Yes, you heard me right. I want to legalize and cultivate cannabis on a massive scale, and turn our country into a paradise for stoners around the world.
Think about it. North Korea is already one of the most isolated and mysterious countries on earth. Why not make it even more alluring by offering some of the best weed on the planet? We could become the Amsterdam of Asia, or even the Colorado of the Far East.
The more westerners we can attract to our country, the less likely the US is to attack us. This is a much better deterrence policy against American aggression than our nuclear program! I can’t believe I didn’t think of this sooner!
We could use the revenue from our booming cannabis industry to fund social programs, build infrastructure, and invest in education. And who knows? Maybe all that THC will lead to some amazing breakthroughs in science and technology. It’s not like we have much else going on in that department.
Plus, imagine the tourism potential. People would come from all over the world just to get high in North Korea. We could even set up “weed tours” that take visitors to our most beautiful and tranquil spots, where they can smoke, relax, and contemplate the mysteries of the universe.
And let’s be real here – I could use a little stress relief myself. Running a country is hard work, and sometimes you just need to kick back and get a little high. I bet some of my fellow world leaders would agree.
So, to sum up: North Korea is going to become a weed-topia. We’ll grow the best bud you’ve ever smoked, and we’ll do it all with the efficiency and discipline that only a totalitarian regime can provide. Who’s with me?
