LONDON – James Bond, the world-renowned super spy known for his suave demeanor and ability to seduce women with ease, is reportedly having trouble picking up Millennial women.
According to sources close to the MI6 agent, Bond has been struggling to adapt to the dating scene of the younger generation, with many of his old tricks falling flat.
“James is used to seducing women with his charm, his Aston Martin, and his expensive suits,” said Moneypenny, Bond’s long-time confidante. “But Millennial women just aren’t impressed by that anymore. They want someone who’s environmentally conscious, who’s into meditation, and who can speak their language.”
Indeed, Bond’s attempts to woo Millennial women have been met with mixed results. One source reported that he tried to impress a group of women at a vegan restaurant by ordering a salad, only to be told that they preferred men who ate meat.
Another source claimed that Bond attempted to use his signature line, “Bond, James Bond,” on a group of women at a trendy nightclub, only to be met with confused stares.
“Millennial women don’t want a man who’s always talking about himself and his accomplishments,” said Dr. Jane Richardson, a relationship expert. “They want someone who’s emotionally intelligent, who can communicate effectively, and who’s not afraid to show vulnerability.”
Bond’s recent struggles have led some to question whether he’s lost his touch with the ladies. However, Moneypenny remains optimistic.
“James is a resilient man,” she said. “He’s always adapting and learning new things. I have no doubt that he’ll be able to figure out how to pick up Millennial women. It just might take a little bit of time.”
As for Bond himself, he’s taking the setback in stride.
“I’ve faced tougher challenges than this,” he said, sipping on a kale smoothie. “I’ll figure it out.”
