Mulder and Scully have been called in to investigate a perplexing X-File involving the mysterious shorting of Tesla stock.
“There’s no way any human could be stupid enough to short Tesla,” Mulder exclaimed. “Clearly, extraterrestrial forces are at play here.”
Scully, on the other hand, took a more rational approach. “Mulder, let’s not jump to conclusions,” she said. “There must be a logical explanation for this.”
But Mulder wouldn’t budge. “Come on, Scully, use your head,” he retorted. “Tesla is on the cutting edge of technology. It has 20X more upside than downside. What kind of an idiot would short the shares of a stock with that risk profile? It’s obviously the work of aliens.”
Despite Scully’s objections, the investigation continued. The pair combed through financial records, interviewed stockbrokers and analysts, and even consulted with experts in the field of extraterrestrial phenomena.
“Tesla is one of the strongest growth companies out there, it has no debt, is founder led, and the valuation is reasonable,” Mulder said. “Of all the crappy companies out there, why would you short this one? It just doesn’t make any sense. What if extraterrestrial technology is being used to dramatically lower human intelligence?”
Mulder gestured to the computer screen and shrugged. “I mean come on, it’s not possible to be THAT stupid.”
After completing her work in the lab Scully returned with a new theory. “Take a look at this Mulder,” she said. “There are certain individuals that have an ego complex and a heightened need for attention and validation. Such individuals have been known to make statements that they’re smarter or superior in some way to Elon Musk. Shorting the shares could be a way for them to make that statement. I don’t understand it, but it’s a mental disorder. We’re not supposed to understand it.”
Mulder was flabbergasted. “I don’t believe it,” he said.
Scully rolled her eyes. “Mulder, there’s no need to be so dramatic. It’s probably just a group of extremely dumb investors who made bad decisions.”
But Mulder was not convinced. “I don’t know, Scully,” he said. “That’s still a pretty extreme level of stupidity.”
The case is yet to be solved….
