In a bizarre turn of events, Dr. Evil, the infamous villain from the Austin Powers franchise, has expressed his admiration for pop star Taylor Swift and has even tried to recruit her to join his evil organization. In a televised meeting held at his secret lair, Dr. Evil gushed about Swift’s music and her impact …
Dr. Evil Wants Taylor Swift To Join His Evil Organization Read More »
In a shocking revelation, multiple news outlets have reported that Woody Harrelson, the famous actor and star of movies like “White Men Can’t Jump,” still can’t jump, even after 20 years. Sources close to Harrelson claim that despite years of training and practice, he simply cannot get off the ground. “It’s really quite sad,” said …
I’m Pookie, and let me tell you, my life is a never-ending cycle of misery and despair. Every day is the same: wake up, eat breakfast, lay on the couch, scowl at my owner, eat lunch, lay on the couch some more, scowl at my owner some more, eat dinner, and then spend the rest …
Hello, my fellow Americans. I’m Bernie Sanders. As we all know, America is the richest country in the world. We have more money, more resources, and more power than any other nation on Earth. And frankly, that has to stop. Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Bernie, what the heck are you talking about? Being …
The US Is The Richest Country In The World And That Has To Stop Read More »
In a stunning display of incompetence, a tech support agent was found to be utterly clueless when it came to fixing even the simplest of computer problems. “I couldn’t believe it,” said one customer, who asked to remain anonymous. “I was expecting a quick and easy fix, but this guy was completely useless. He didn’t …
Introducing the latest miracle drug to hit the market: Broketrol! This wonder drug boasts a 96% success rate in causing bankruptcy, making it the go-to medication for those who want to achieve financial ruin quickly and easily. While the drug was originally marketed as an antidepressant, the extremely high price of the drug has shown …
New Drug Shows 96% Success Rate In Causing Bankruptcy Read More »
In a groundbreaking scientific discovery, former President Donald Trump has been found to be 90% Neanderthal, according to a new study. The study, which was conducted by a team of researchers at a prestigious university, analyzed DNA samples from Trump’s hair and found that his genetic makeup closely resembles that of a Neanderthal, an extinct …
Another Zerg Overlord from China was reportedly shot down by US fighters earlier today in the skies over Montana. The Chinese government had allegedly been using these Overlords to scout out military secrets in the US and other countries, but it seems that their plans have been foiled. The Zerg Overlord, known for its distinctive …
Zerg Overlord From China Shot Down By US Fighters Read More »
In a highly anticipated debate, Neo, the chosen one from the Matrix, and Agent Smith, the ruthless program from the same film, went head-to-head over the pros and cons of Bitcoin. Neo, a long-time believer in the power of technology and disruption, argued that Bitcoin is the future of money. “Whoa! This is decentralized, global, …
Concerned scientists in the field of artificial intelligence are troubled by the lack of investment in the development of artificial stupidity. “We need ‘dumb’ machines if humanity is to have any hope of surviving the Technological Singularity,” said researcher Gene Breckman. “Machines could become so intelligent that they would be impossible to control or even …
We Lack Investment In Artificial Stupidity Say Scientists Read More »
