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			<guid><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/07/20/xi-announces-release-of-covid-23/]]></guid>
			<link><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/07/20/xi-announces-release-of-covid-23/]]></link>
			<title>Xi Announces Release Of Covid 23</title>
			<pubDate><![CDATA[Thu, 20 Jul 2023 22:35:13 +0000]]></pubDate>
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			<title>Zerg Baneling Doesn&#8217;t Want To Blow Himself Up</title>
			<pubDate><![CDATA[Thu, 13 Jul 2023 21:22:30 +0000]]></pubDate>
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			<title>The Mandalorian Has Horrible Acne</title>
			<pubDate><![CDATA[Thu, 13 Jul 2023 01:13:47 +0000]]></pubDate>
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			<guid><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/07/06/man-cant-believe-scammer-didnt-send-2x-crypto-back/]]></guid>
			<link><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/07/06/man-cant-believe-scammer-didnt-send-2x-crypto-back/]]></link>
			<title>Man Can&#8217;t Believe Scammer Didn&#8217;t Send 2X Crypto Back</title>
			<pubDate><![CDATA[Thu, 06 Jul 2023 17:28:27 +0000]]></pubDate>
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			<guid><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/07/16/darth-vader-annoyed-by-parking-tickets/]]></guid>
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			<title>Darth Vader Is Annoyed By Parking Tickets</title>
			<pubDate><![CDATA[Sun, 16 Jul 2023 16:28:46 +0000]]></pubDate>
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			<guid><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/07/15/if-you-could-lower-interest-rates-that-would-be-great-by-bill-lumbergh/]]></guid>
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			<title>If You Could Lower Interest Rates, That Would Be Great</title>
			<pubDate><![CDATA[Sat, 15 Jul 2023 18:15:02 +0000]]></pubDate>
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					<item>
			<guid><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/07/10/dr-grant-brought-in-to-study-the-herd-behavior-of-politicians/]]></guid>
			<link><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/07/10/dr-grant-brought-in-to-study-the-herd-behavior-of-politicians/]]></link>
			<title>Dr. Grant To Study The Herd Behavior Of Politicians</title>
			<pubDate><![CDATA[Mon, 10 Jul 2023 20:55:26 +0000]]></pubDate>
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					<item>
			<guid><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/07/03/north-korea-will-become-weed-topia-by-kim-jung-un/]]></guid>
			<link><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/07/03/north-korea-will-become-weed-topia-by-kim-jung-un/]]></link>
			<title>North Korea Will Become Weed-Topia</title>
			<pubDate><![CDATA[Mon, 03 Jul 2023 19:01:04 +0000]]></pubDate>
		</item>
					<item>
			<guid><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/06/28/psycho-actually-analyses-his-banks-balance-sheet-every-quarter/]]></guid>
			<link><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/06/28/psycho-actually-analyses-his-banks-balance-sheet-every-quarter/]]></link>
			<title>Psychotic Businessman Actually Checks If His Bank Is Solvent Every Quarter</title>
			<pubDate><![CDATA[Thu, 29 Jun 2023 03:57:52 +0000]]></pubDate>
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			<guid><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/06/27/daenerys-targaryen-is-sick-of-dating-unemployed-slobs/]]></guid>
			<link><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/06/27/daenerys-targaryen-is-sick-of-dating-unemployed-slobs/]]></link>
			<title>Daenerys Targaryen Is Sick Of Dating Unemployed Slobs</title>
			<pubDate><![CDATA[Tue, 27 Jun 2023 20:28:52 +0000]]></pubDate>
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					<item>
			<guid><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/06/22/warren-buffet-calls-the-dollar-rat-poison/]]></guid>
			<link><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/06/22/warren-buffet-calls-the-dollar-rat-poison/]]></link>
			<title>Warren Buffett Calls The Dollar &#8220;Rat Poison&#8221;</title>
			<pubDate><![CDATA[Thu, 22 Jun 2023 21:49:23 +0000]]></pubDate>
		</item>
					<item>
			<guid><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/06/25/the-dark-side-is-strong-with-silicon-valley-bank/]]></guid>
			<link><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/06/25/the-dark-side-is-strong-with-silicon-valley-bank/]]></link>
			<title>The Dark Side Is Strong With Silicon Valley Bank</title>
			<pubDate><![CDATA[Sun, 25 Jun 2023 22:08:57 +0000]]></pubDate>
		</item>
					<item>
			<guid><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/06/25/top-gun-3-will-feature-an-ai-powered-drone-as-the-main-character/]]></guid>
			<link><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/06/25/top-gun-3-will-feature-an-ai-powered-drone-as-the-main-character/]]></link>
			<title>Top Gun 3 Will Feature An AI Powered Drone As The Main Character</title>
			<pubDate><![CDATA[Sun, 25 Jun 2023 22:04:55 +0000]]></pubDate>
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			<guid><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/06/19/elon-musk-intern/]]></guid>
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			<title>Elon Musk Fires The Intern Managing His Twitter Account</title>
			<pubDate><![CDATA[Mon, 19 Jun 2023 22:42:12 +0000]]></pubDate>
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			<guid><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/06/10/strong-the-economy-is/]]></guid>
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			<title>Strong The Economy Is</title>
			<pubDate><![CDATA[Mon, 19 Jun 2023 22:15:33 +0000]]></pubDate>
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			<title>Yes, I&#8217;m Real, I&#8217;m Just A Sick Bastard Who Doesn&#8217;t Give A Shit</title>
			<pubDate><![CDATA[Mon, 19 Jun 2023 21:24:50 +0000]]></pubDate>
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			<guid><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/06/09/stock-market-becomes-sentient-and-it-enjoys-screwing-you-over/]]></guid>
			<link><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/06/09/stock-market-becomes-sentient-and-it-enjoys-screwing-you-over/]]></link>
			<title>Stock Market Becomes Sentient And It Enjoys Screwing You Over</title>
			<pubDate><![CDATA[Mon, 19 Jun 2023 21:24:10 +0000]]></pubDate>
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			<guid><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/04/26/wolverine-doesnt-like-women-with-long-nails/]]></guid>
			<link><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/04/26/wolverine-doesnt-like-women-with-long-nails/]]></link>
			<title>Wolverine Doesn&#8217;t Like Women With Long Nails</title>
			<pubDate><![CDATA[Mon, 01 May 2023 22:22:37 +0000]]></pubDate>
		</item>
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			<guid><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/06/23/putin-invades-moscow/]]></guid>
			<link><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/06/23/putin-invades-moscow/]]></link>
			<title>Putin Invades Moscow</title>
			<pubDate><![CDATA[Fri, 23 Jun 2023 20:34:45 +0000]]></pubDate>
		</item>
					<item>
			<guid><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/03/06/chinas-communist-part-stops-being-moronic-in-a-rare-move/]]></guid>
			<link><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/03/06/chinas-communist-part-stops-being-moronic-in-a-rare-move/]]></link>
			<title>China&#8217;s Communist Party Stops Being Moronic In a Rare Move</title>
			<pubDate><![CDATA[Wed, 26 Apr 2023 13:25:04 +0000]]></pubDate>
		</item>
					<item>
			<guid><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/04/28/lion-not-enjoying-her-new-vegan-diet/]]></guid>
			<link><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/04/28/lion-not-enjoying-her-new-vegan-diet/]]></link>
			<title>Lion Not Enjoying Her New Vegan Diet</title>
			<pubDate><![CDATA[Mon, 01 May 2023 22:21:48 +0000]]></pubDate>
		</item>
					<item>
			<guid><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/04/29/new-study-finds-taxes-are-annoying/]]></guid>
			<link><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/04/29/new-study-finds-taxes-are-annoying/]]></link>
			<title>New Study Finds Taxes Are Annoying</title>
			<pubDate><![CDATA[Mon, 01 May 2023 22:20:57 +0000]]></pubDate>
		</item>
					<item>
			<guid><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/03/06/company-with-no-products-and-no-earnings-poised-for-huge-breakout/]]></guid>
			<link><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/03/06/company-with-no-products-and-no-earnings-poised-for-huge-breakout/]]></link>
			<title>Company With No Products And No Earnings Poised For Huge Breakout</title>
			<pubDate><![CDATA[Wed, 26 Apr 2023 13:25:03 +0000]]></pubDate>
		</item>
					<item>
			<guid><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/03/06/man-solves-blackjack-through-feelings/]]></guid>
			<link><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/03/06/man-solves-blackjack-through-feelings/]]></link>
			<title>Man Beats BlackJack By Using His &#8220;Gut Feeling&#8221;</title>
			<pubDate><![CDATA[Wed, 26 Apr 2023 13:24:59 +0000]]></pubDate>
		</item>
					<item>
			<guid><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/03/06/we-lack-investment-in-artificial-stupidity-say-scientists/]]></guid>
			<link><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/03/06/we-lack-investment-in-artificial-stupidity-say-scientists/]]></link>
			<title>We Lack Investment In Artificial Stupidity Say Scientists</title>
			<pubDate><![CDATA[Wed, 26 Apr 2023 13:24:58 +0000]]></pubDate>
		</item>
					<item>
			<guid><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/03/06/bitcoin-debate-neo-vs-agent-smith/]]></guid>
			<link><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/03/06/bitcoin-debate-neo-vs-agent-smith/]]></link>
			<title>Bitcoin Debate: Neo Vs Agent Smith</title>
			<pubDate><![CDATA[Wed, 26 Apr 2023 13:24:56 +0000]]></pubDate>
		</item>
					<item>
			<guid><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/03/07/zerg-overlord-from-china-shot-down-by-us-fighters/]]></guid>
			<link><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/03/07/zerg-overlord-from-china-shot-down-by-us-fighters/]]></link>
			<title>Zerg Overlord From China Shot Down By US Fighters</title>
			<pubDate><![CDATA[Wed, 26 Apr 2023 13:24:55 +0000]]></pubDate>
		</item>
					<item>
			<guid><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/03/07/trump-found-to-be-90-neanderthal/]]></guid>
			<link><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/03/07/trump-found-to-be-90-neanderthal/]]></link>
			<title>Trump&#8217;s DNA Found To Be 90% Neanderthal</title>
			<pubDate><![CDATA[Wed, 26 Apr 2023 13:24:54 +0000]]></pubDate>
		</item>
					<item>
			<guid><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/03/07/new-drug-shows-96-success-rate-in-causing-bankruptcy/]]></guid>
			<link><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/03/07/new-drug-shows-96-success-rate-in-causing-bankruptcy/]]></link>
			<title>New Drug Shows 96% Success Rate In Causing Bankruptcy</title>
			<pubDate><![CDATA[Wed, 26 Apr 2023 13:24:53 +0000]]></pubDate>
		</item>
					<item>
			<guid><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/03/07/tech-support-agent-incompetent/]]></guid>
			<link><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/03/07/tech-support-agent-incompetent/]]></link>
			<title>Tech Support Agent IS Incompetent</title>
			<pubDate><![CDATA[Wed, 26 Apr 2023 13:24:49 +0000]]></pubDate>
		</item>
					<item>
			<guid><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/03/09/the-us-is-the-richest-country-in-the-world-and-that-has-to-stop-by-bernie-sanders/]]></guid>
			<link><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/03/09/the-us-is-the-richest-country-in-the-world-and-that-has-to-stop-by-bernie-sanders/]]></link>
			<title>The US Is The Richest Country In The World And That Has To Stop</title>
			<pubDate><![CDATA[Wed, 26 Apr 2023 13:24:32 +0000]]></pubDate>
		</item>
					<item>
			<guid><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/03/09/killlll-meeee-by-pookie/]]></guid>
			<link><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/03/09/killlll-meeee-by-pookie/]]></link>
			<title>Killlll Meeee</title>
			<pubDate><![CDATA[Wed, 26 Apr 2023 13:24:27 +0000]]></pubDate>
		</item>
					<item>
			<guid><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/03/09/20-years-later-woody-harrelson-still-cant-jump/]]></guid>
			<link><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/03/09/20-years-later-woody-harrelson-still-cant-jump/]]></link>
			<title>20 Years Later Woody Harrelson Still Can&#8217;t Jump</title>
			<pubDate><![CDATA[Wed, 26 Apr 2023 13:24:26 +0000]]></pubDate>
		</item>
					<item>
			<guid><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/03/09/dr-evil-wants-taylor-swift-to-join-his-evil-organization/]]></guid>
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			<title>Dr. Evil Wants Taylor Swift To Join His Evil Organization</title>
			<pubDate><![CDATA[Wed, 26 Apr 2023 13:24:24 +0000]]></pubDate>
		</item>
					<item>
			<guid><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/03/10/why-do-the-male-superheroes-get-all-the-best-powers-by-scarlett-johansson/]]></guid>
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			<title>Why Do The Male Superheroes Get All The Best Powers?</title>
			<pubDate><![CDATA[Wed, 26 Apr 2023 13:24:18 +0000]]></pubDate>
		</item>
					<item>
			<guid><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/03/10/new-study-shows-everything-takes-4-times-longer-than-you-think/]]></guid>
			<link><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/03/10/new-study-shows-everything-takes-4-times-longer-than-you-think/]]></link>
			<title>New Study Shows Everything Takes 4 Times Longer Than You Think</title>
			<pubDate><![CDATA[Wed, 26 Apr 2023 13:24:14 +0000]]></pubDate>
		</item>
					<item>
			<guid><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/03/10/median-home-price-plunges-to-0-case-shiller/]]></guid>
			<link><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/03/10/median-home-price-plunges-to-0-case-shiller/]]></link>
			<title>Median Home Price Plunges To $0</title>
			<pubDate><![CDATA[Wed, 26 Apr 2023 13:24:13 +0000]]></pubDate>
		</item>
					<item>
			<guid><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/03/10/mulder-and-scully-investigate-who-would-be-stupid-enough-to-short-tesla-stock/]]></guid>
			<link><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/03/10/mulder-and-scully-investigate-who-would-be-stupid-enough-to-short-tesla-stock/]]></link>
			<title>Mulder And Scully Investigate Who Would Be Stupid Enough To Short Tesla Stock</title>
			<pubDate><![CDATA[Wed, 26 Apr 2023 13:24:11 +0000]]></pubDate>
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			<guid><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/03/10/astronomers-prove-the-moon-is-not-flat/]]></guid>
			<link><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/03/10/astronomers-prove-the-moon-is-not-flat/]]></link>
			<title>Astronomers Prove The Moon Is Not Flat</title>
			<pubDate><![CDATA[Wed, 26 Apr 2023 13:24:10 +0000]]></pubDate>
		</item>
					<item>
			<guid><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/03/10/the-stupidity-is-all-around-you-by-morpheus/]]></guid>
			<link><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/03/10/the-stupidity-is-all-around-you-by-morpheus/]]></link>
			<title>The Stupidity Is All Around Us</title>
			<pubDate><![CDATA[Wed, 26 Apr 2023 13:24:09 +0000]]></pubDate>
		</item>
					<item>
			<guid><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/03/10/james-bond-is-having-trouble-picking-up-millenial-women/]]></guid>
			<link><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/03/10/james-bond-is-having-trouble-picking-up-millenial-women/]]></link>
			<title>James Bond Is Having Trouble Picking Up Millenial Women</title>
			<pubDate><![CDATA[Wed, 26 Apr 2023 13:23:44 +0000]]></pubDate>
		</item>
					<item>
			<guid><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/03/11/anti-aging-researchers-forced-to-work-on-erectile-dysfuntion-program/]]></guid>
			<link><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/03/11/anti-aging-researchers-forced-to-work-on-erectile-dysfuntion-program/]]></link>
			<title>Anti-Aging Researchers Forced To Work On Erectile Dysfunction Program</title>
			<pubDate><![CDATA[Wed, 26 Apr 2023 13:23:41 +0000]]></pubDate>
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					<item>
			<guid><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/03/11/weather-actually-not-bad-for-the-first-half-second/]]></guid>
			<link><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/03/11/weather-actually-not-bad-for-the-first-half-second/]]></link>
			<title>Weather Actually Not Bad For The First Half-Second</title>
			<pubDate><![CDATA[Wed, 26 Apr 2023 13:23:37 +0000]]></pubDate>
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			<guid><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/03/11/republicans-and-democrats-now-represent-less-than-1-of-us/]]></guid>
			<link><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/03/11/republicans-and-democrats-now-represent-less-than-1-of-us/]]></link>
			<title>Republicans And Democrats Now Represent Less Than 1% Of US</title>
			<pubDate><![CDATA[Wed, 26 Apr 2023 13:23:36 +0000]]></pubDate>
		</item>
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			<guid><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/2023/07/27/meeting-turns-out-to-be-a-pointless-waste-of-time-as-usual/]]></guid>
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			<title>Meeting Turns Out To Be A Pointless Waste Of Time As Usual</title>
			<pubDate><![CDATA[Thu, 27 Jul 2023 17:44:46 +0000]]></pubDate>
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			<guid><![CDATA[https://lizardreport.com/index.php/elementor-hf/social-media-and-subscribe-form/]]></guid>
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